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buttonshadows


in ad 2012, race war was beginning (all your race are belong to us)


warning: this will offend you and probably ruin my career forever, so put your hater blockers on. anyone who quotes portions of this entry out of context will make me look like a piece of shit.

“We exist without skin color,
without nationality, without religious bias… and you call us criminals.”

the mentor, “the conscience of a hacker/hacker’s manifesto”, 1986

if you read any thread on the internet these days, you wouldn’t believe that quote for a second – everyone has been called a nigger at least once by 2012 on the internet. twice if you’ve ever played xbox live.

the trayvon martin story is a serious tragedy, but none of us were there. i believe neil degrasse tyson (who is a black guy, so he must be a criminal) once said something to the effect of “in scientific dealings, eyewitness testimony is the fucking LAST thing you want to listen to, yet in a court of law, you can put a man to death with it.” the jew-run media is obviously trying to incite a race war here.

no, motherfucker. you see how malevolent text can be? sticks and stones ARE breaking fucking bones over words and shit and everyone is losing sight of the fact that there is a dead child and a hispanicy-white guy getting raked over the coals – those are the only real facts at this point. it is spilling over into trademarks and marches and hoodies and partisan garbage and racial divisiveness.

real racism is ugly. fake racism is hilarious. harmless stereotypes are funny because they are mostly true. my grandmother is hawaiian-chinese and talks in the third person. asians suck at driving, they are good at math, and they are cheap. my other grandfather was half choctaw indian. sadly, he didn’t gamble or drink heavily, so he was a pretty shitty indian (feather, not dot).

therefore, i am a shitty whitey cracker. i’m barely half “white”. basically, if my daughter marries a hispanic african, my grandchild will be the fifth element. also, i am glad white people raped and pillaged my ancestors – if they didn’t, i wouldn’t have gotten an iphone. hell, my fourth and fifth cousins are assembling the damn things in china. it takes the whole fucking world to build a world.

i have a feeling that people who spend most of their lives on the internet are desensitized to the whole race thing. since the invention of boats, we’ve been circumnavigating the world and fucking the ethnicity out of each other, which is awesome. i judge people on the content of their character, not what ____ they are. if you’re a piece of shit, you’re a piece of shit, plain and simple. shit, i know more white criminals than any other race (sup madoff/banking industry holla y’all i see you i ain’t forgot).

yes, real racism sucks. however, i am enough “ethnic” by weight that i could probably open a casino AND a laundromat with government assistance. put down the pitchforks, cut the bullshit, and just fuck each other until our ethnicities are so diluted that comedians will have nothing to talk about in the future. amen.

addendum – if you ain’t listening to me, LISTEN TO GOD HIMSELF ON THIS ONE:

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